In response to Brent. A glimmer of hope amidst my fury.

Brent,

Your comment couldn't have come at a better time. I was sitting here forcing myself to translate a little Cicero, but my thoughts kept drifting to a complete sadness that I have failed myself and everyone who believes in me. It's a no from both Ohio State and U Penn. Two rejections in one day is hard to swallow, especially since my professors here at OSU fought so hard to get me in here.

All the rejections have left me bitter. I'm a 3.5 honors student and a sub-par standardized test taker. But I'll be damned if I'm not a GREAT archaeologist/classicist/geologist, as well as an avid museum volunteer, forum organizer, and officer of too many student organizations to count. I care about my school, my professors and I'm enormously passionate about my research.

How is it then that I see the biggest douche-bag idiots, who know nothing about the real world, who only know the shit they have been fed from their undergrad courses--who can't formulate a single thought or opinion for themselves--get in to grad school?? Ah, the numbers game--why should only those who lived a conformed life to get the 4.0 get into grad school? Sure I'm over-generalizing here, but I'm sick of seeing it. I'm sick of hearing my professors complain that they wish their grad students would be more like me. I'm FED UP hearing grad students bitch about a professor making them think outside of the box or outside of their own research. They should grow up and learn a few things. They should appreciate the opportunities they have in front of them.

If you want to know how I REALLY feel, just email me.

Back to Brent's post. What a ray of optimism from my day of stewing pessimism. 45,000 a yr is a lot of money. But you're right, I have been too hung up on the number. My dreams, my education, my livelihood are more important than a price tag and once I have it, no one can take it away from me. A great school out there (BU) wants this Great crazy interdisciplinary archaeologist. Once there, nothing will be able to slow me down. With my work ethic I'll at least have a small hope of funding for the next year.

Brent, your comment of encouragement has helped me realize the opportunity that has been presented to me. Despite five rejections, I need to take my own advice and yours. I would be foolish to write off BU completely.

Does anyone know how much I can get for one of my kidney's??

For now, it's back to the Pro Caelio.